Witnessing the natural unfolding.
My friend called this the 5th trimester the other day. I love this perspective. I’m still very much in this continual progression of supporting Anaiya’s acclimation to this planet, and will be for much time to come. I’m attuning to her timing of landing completely here, into her full embodiment.
"I’m attuning to her timing of landing completely here, into her full embodiment."
I feel a natural shift from the first three months, just like I did at the 40 day marker. In one sense it seems funny to put linear time onto an organic continual unfolding, but I get that it’s a way to track progression.
I feel Anaiya more here, more embodied. Her eyes lock with mine often and I feel her speaking volumes both in the nonverbal and in the range of sounds she expresses. Our systems feel so in sync. The unspoken communication flowing freely between us. Yes, she’s been communicating her needs this entire time and I feel myself responding fairly effortlessly. We’ve shifted from basic needs to more of an emotional dialogue. I feel her looking at me, tracking me to see if I’m with her. She smiles often and freely. I see her observing her surroundings and people’s faces. And I feel our telepathic communication increasing. It feels like we’re often resting together in the big cosmic joke.
I imagine there will be waves of aloneness cresting at some point, but lately all I feel is tremendous amounts of joy and ease. I’m actually enjoying doing this on my own. There’s no one interfering with my parenting style and I’m not needing to split my attention with another person. She gets all of me right now. And it is my joy and honor to give her all of my attention.
"She gets all of me right now. And it is my joy and honor to give her all of my attention."
I feel Anaiya’s contentment. She’s relaxed in her body, as she explores on a daily basis new ways in which it functions. She doesn’t cry much. There’s no need, because I’m attuned and aware of what she needs long before it has to get as big as a cry.
We’ve hit our stride! While my love has been here for her from even before she began growing in my womb, I feel more of a relational love blossoming, that I know will only continue to bloom over time.
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