A look at how my personal healing practices have shaped me as a mother.
As my beloved turns half a year old, I’m reflecting on what shaped me to be who I am in this new identity of mother. Did I know all the practices I’d devoted my life to before becoming a mama would serve me as a parent? On some level yes, but I had no idea how directly and profoundly they would. Everything before now prepped me for this! While this is always true, I feel this statement amplified in this new stage of life.
What have I discovered about myself inside of becoming a mother? That many of my practices before having a baby have been paramount in enjoying this mamahood journey as fully as I am.
1.My regular meditation practice. This allows me to rest into presence and be with the arising. To not attach story or meaning to what is emerging. To know myself as vast emptiness, and spacious ground of being, as well as simultaneously being the ever-arising moment.
2. The work I’ve done with clients. I support them in presencing their internal parts and meeting them with their true Self. The self that is compassionate, unconditional loving presence. This allows me to have love for all that is arising, not trying to push anything away or deny its need for presence.
3. My own deep practice of loving and being with all parts of me, my little one, my vulnerable one, the exiled ones, the protectors and managers, etc. allows me to practice maintaining steadfast presence and multi-level focus with myself as I’m with my baby.
4. Knowing how to Re-Source myself when I feel distracted or depleted. It is paramount in staying present, loving, and attuned with my baby.
5. My years of training and teaching subtle energy awareness allows me to easily attune to my daughter, connecting with her in non-verbal communication and interactions. I can meet her needs by listening and attuning fairly effortlessly. Living my life more from intuition than logic and analysis provides me with a capacity to hear and follow inner guidance of what’s needed.
6. My capacity to not worry, but rather to be with whatever is arising, and let myself be taught and shown by the greater intelligence that we are. My cultivated and inherent trust and knowing of the perfection in all and not needing to know ahead of time. Instead, joyfully following the unfolding moment continues to nourish me in this eternal dance with her.
7. My movement practices of Contact Improvisation, Ecstatic Dance allows me to easily feel the continual flow of movement with my child both somatically and emotionally. Contact Impov allows me to carry and move with my baby in ways that feel good to both of us, using my body intelligently and enjoyably.
8. The somatic practice of Body-Mind Centering™. For years I’ve studied and worked with clients to re-pattern gaps in their childhood development both in movement and psychological distortions, helping rewire the nervous system. Going into the past to create new and healthy pathways of neurological and physiological well being has allowed for great healing in my clients. To witness this in present time with my baby is delightful. I know what stage of development she is at and what to be aware of and what’s needed in her development both somatically, energetically and psychologically. Perhaps she won’t need to go back into these stages when she’s an adult. 9. My ability to be real with myself. To notice and acknowledge when I’m under-resourced and needing support. I’m experiencing deeper levels of surrendering into support. Knowing I could do it all on my own but receiving support from others makes this journey so much more fun and sustainable. I love how motherhood is growing my capacity for interdependence!
10. Lastly, my love of play, laughter, dance, singing and living a life I love. I have someone who laughs with me and also loves to smile. My inherent love of life and eternal optimism feel beautifully received by my daughter. My loves gets to pour into an undefended system as she shines love back. More love creates more love! There are still so many things I’m discovering about who I am as a mother, but I celebrate all that prepped me for this journey of new, yet so deeply familiar, practice of being a mama. I both celebrate the tools I have and welcome the continual transformation as my daughter’s development continues to reveal what’s needed next. If you are interested in cultivating these skills within your own being, I would love to support you. Please visit my Services page for more information.
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